January 13, 2012

Community Mediation: Now Serving the UNdead, Too

In retrospect, it was only a matter of time. And now that time has come: Zombies have entered the world of community mediation!

The connection may appear rather tenuous (for now), but countless zombie flicks have all warned us there's much more to come. We need to steel ourselves for what lay ahead, prepare our intake, train our volunteers, and most importantly, not appear too lively...or tasty.

First cited this Friday the 13th in the latest issue of GEO Politics, Robert A. Saunders definitively -- though far too nonchalantly -- links the zombie and community mediation worlds in his article Undead Spaces: Fear, Globalisation, and the Popular Geopolitics of Zombiism. (A mere footnote referencing a 1978 article on "Crowding and Neighborhood Mediation of Urban Density" is wildly irresponsible reporting of such a monumentally terrifying development, Mr. Saunders!)

With these two worlds now inextricably merged, we can only imagine what's next. Neighbor disputes over razor wire placements and blinding security flood lights; consumer-merchant conflicts over survival supply and weaponry price gouging; biting bickerers; and an onslaught of indecipherable communication conflicts. 

Thankfully, community mediation is a creative lot, rising valiantly to other -- though less bloodthirsty -- social epidemics. We can stock our front offices with the zombie survival guide, cross-train our volunteer mediators in how to speak zombie, and reconfigure our mediation rooms to include floor-bolted chairs with security straps. (Please leave additional life-saving mediator recommendations in the comments below.)

Together, we can confront this challenge with our cool heads and warm BRRRAAAAAAINS

In jest,
Executive Director, NAFCM


  1. This is amazing. Thank You. ;o)

  2. Only a matter of time till Harvard launches PON of the Dead.

    1. Hilarious, Brad! It'd have to be a summer symposium, though. Zombies don't do well in cold weather.

    2. Sorry to disappoint--perhaps an idea for a whole other article.

    3. What a great sport, Dr. Saunders! We'll all be on the lookout for your forthcoming article "Undead Spaces II: Localization and the Mediation of Zombie Conflict."